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Dilbert: I've got two good prospects on this dating site. Dilbert says, "I can remember when these were only fifteen cents." Dilbert continues, "But I'm really dating myself now . ." Dogbert says, "Well, it's not as if anybody else would date you." Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs.

Lawyer: Okay, I think we have you covered, but the stapling phase will sting a little.

LBL is grateful that she found Now Husband before he found out about this matrix.

By plotting where on the matrix a woman falls, she can be identified as anything from the female version of Chernobyl (stay hundreds of miles away and wear protecting clothing) all the way to marriageable material. LBL found the presentation to be both offensive and hilarious at the same time,depending whether her ice cream was in the freezer or being shoveled into her mouth during the time it took to watch the video.

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An alert reader sent a video to Life in the Boomer Lane titled “The Universal Hot/Crazy Matrix: A Man’s Guide to Women.” The chart was developed by Dana Mc Lendon, a forty-something who looks like he spent a lot of time hugging the wall in social situations, trying to figure women out, before he decided to turn them into a two-dimensional chart. Mc Lendon makes quick work of intelligence, sense of humor, political and social awareness, professional achievements, and whatever other areas misguided women might believe are advantageous in one’s quest for a meaningful relationship with the opposite sex. According to Mc Lendon’s matrix, LBL would most likely have ended up in the Chernobyl category and the marriage would not have taken place.

This proves fruitful when Luna (voiced by Aisha Tyler) agrees to spend the weekend with the Freeman family.

Both of the boys are a little wary, Riley especially believes she is going to steal their cash, but Granddad dismisses their concerns and assures the boys everything will be fine.

That way, he was willing to waste a lot of time discussing books, movies, politics, and social issues, while she was dating him.

The ‘Hot’ axis is measured on a scale of 1 to 10, while the ‘Crazy’ axis runs from 4 to 10, “because there is no such thing as a woman who is not at least a 4 Crazy,” Mc Lendon says. In a nutshell: In order to be a perfect woman, you have to not be a woman.

The very top spot, meaning a woman who is insanely hot AND not at all crazy, is a guy, in other words, a tranny.

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